the idler

August 16, 2007

for the last few months, i have done absolutely nothing. no job, no volunteering, no classes, no organized activity at all. i basically did what i wanted when i wanted, enjoying one last summer. as a student, summers are special, signifying freedom and relief. i wanted one last hurrah of sorts before summer just becomes another season, just another set of three months that aren’t really distinguishable from the rest of the year except for the weather and that there’s nothing on TV. however that hurrah wasn’t about cramming my summer with crazy adventures. anything that is organized and involves effort or stress was out. i didn’t want to feel like i had to make my summer out to be a certain experience. if i end up having an adventure great, if i don’t then that’s also great.

i loved my summer. friends tell me that after coming home, after a few weeks doing nothing gets to them. not me! idleness and i were very compatible. days and weeks would go by quickly and i couldn’t really tell you how i spent them.

however, summer is coming to an end. i had given myself until the end of august/beginning of september to be a lazy layabout and then i would start thinking of my next step, thinking about getting a job and maybe applying for a fellowship again. i think it’s good timing. idleness is such a wonderful thing, and i haven’t been appreciating it as much as i ought to. nothing like doing something will make me truly be grateful for my opportunities to do nothing.

i started looking for jobs today on craigslist (monstertrak kind of sucks. for me, i can only find jobs by state, and most of the jobs that come up are for socal) and felt really overwhelmed. cuz now i have to check my resume, write cover letters, research these places, apply, hopefully get an interview, do the interview, and if i get the job now i have to be somewhere and a certain time, and have to be competent and do certain tasks and be accountable to someone else and be constantly evaluated and whatever. that’s a lot to take on when all you’ve been doing is nothing.

i have no idea what fall would be like.  in january i want to try to go to vietnam with my cousin (the trip that was supposed to have happened this summer), so i’m just thinking about what life in the fall would be like, i’m not thinking about it as a year plan or something like that. i guess i’m taking life season by season. summer’s done and now it’s fall.

so in the realm of my imagination i came up with a possible idea of what my fall would be:

-taking vietnamese classes at community college (this is for sure because i already enrolled and paid!)

-volunteering for streetside stories, which does digital storytelling with youth

-volunteer for api wellness center and sf war (women against rape)

-because i need $, but also need a flexible schedule to do all those non money making things, i would work as a part-time assistant receptionist thingy

-go to bartending school (but that just lasts a few weeks)

we’ll see how the next few months turn out

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Dear M.I.A.

August 1, 2007

Hello M.I.A. I saw you in concert today (because an awesome friend who’s a Pomona alum was able to sneak me in or else I wouldn’t have been able to get in at all, but trust me I would’ve paid the $20 for the tickets if they were available). I think I’m in love with you. I don’t really believe in the institution of marriage, but I think I can make it work for you. M.I.A., or may I call you Maya Arulpragasam, will you marry me????

I don’t care if MTV refused to play this video because of your reference to the PLO. It makes me love you more!!!